I have, for most of my life, advocated against spanking. I truly feel that the world would be a better place if parents did not hit their children. Not ever, not under any circumstances should anyone be hit, but especially not a child and especially not by someone they love and trust to keep them safe and secure. Having said that, it’s not MY choice how you parent your child.
No parent should be shamed or blamed for parenting THEIR own child in the manner in which they see fit. Unless a parent is abusive to their child or allows someone else to be abusive to them, they should not be judged on their parenting methods. I’m not here to judge you. I want to educate you on better, more effective, more humane ways to be the perfect parent for your child. At the end of the day, what loving parent wants to hit their kid? My guess is that none of them do. More often than not corporal punishment is used by frustrated parents who just don’t know what else to do. Spanking is swift and “gets the job done” in a timely manner which leads most parents who use this method to believe that they are doing the right thing by their child. Studies prove otherwise.
There is a recent study published in The Journal of Family Psychology in which 33 families were audio taped after returning home for the evening. The study recorded the actions of the families for six nights. Out of those families, there were 41 incidents of spanking in more than half of the families over the course of the study. Moreover, the spanking did not seem effective. In almost every case, after being hit the child was misbehaving again within a few minutes. Researchers, psychologists, psychiatrists and other experts have been studying the effects of spanking for more than a half century. The overwhelming results are that spanking is not only ineffective, it causes emotional and mental scars that can last a lifetime. I’d be willing to wager that almost every parent who spanks, was also spanked as a child. It’s what they were taught was the “right” way to discipline their own children. It’s a vicious cycle that repeats generation after generation. I broke that cycle in my family and you can break the cycle in your family too.
I’m not here to condemn or judge you. Please know that. My goal for this blog, and the book I am writing, is to teach parents more effective, more loving, more lasting methods to rear their children. As Oprah once said, “We do the best we know how to do. When we know better, we do better.”